120_days

120_days @ 2006-09-30T20:56:00

2006-10-01T04:28:23Z

Just an update on how I am doing and well lots of complaining I guess.
So I have been doing well I guess. I havent posted in awhile I lost 5 pounds and am now at 150. Or at least I was but I am almost on my period and I am bloated and to scared to weigh myself right now. This has been the hardest last month and half of my whole entire life. I have been depressed and had days where I dont want to get out of bed. I have been suicidal although I am pretty sure I would never act on thoose feelings. Anyways as some of you may know my dad is in prison right now. He will be there for about 2 to 3 years he has been there for about a month now. Anyways other stuff that has happend. Was I switched schools I went from my little tiny school of like 300 people to a huge school with 1800 kids. I stayed there for two weeks but in the end it was too overwhelming and I had to make the hardest decision of my life and go back to my old school. It was the hardest decision of my life because I went there for the band program because my school didnt well doesnt offer it and I want to make music my career. But I think with my dad and all it was best to go back to my old school. Then the guy that I have like for the past like year. Who also kind of happens to be my best friend broke up with his g/f which was kind of good because we had been hanging out everyday and stuff and I am pretty sure he was starting to like me and I was actually starting to get self esteem because he told me I was pretty and just things like that and I was starting to fall for him big time. Then I just found out that he got a girl friend. And it is like my whole entire world just crashed. And they have only been dating a week but now I dont get to hang out with him hardly at all. And it is like I have lost my best friend. And I met his girl friend yesterday and I dont think she likes me. Like I just have a feeling she is going to tell him she doesnt want him to hangout with me anymore she just seems like she would. And she was like it is so nice to finally meet you Sol talks about you all the time. Ugh if she did that I dont know what I would do honestly on weekends we hangout like all the time. He is a delivery boy and so we hang out all day and then I go to work with him and then we ussually hang out afterwards to. And now he doesnt want to do any of that stuff anymore. I didnt see him today and I barely talked to him. Anyways I am sounding very selfish. As long as he is happy that is all that matters and I think he is happy. But it has only been a week but he is already spending the night there every night. I think he likes the sex better then he likes her. Ahh I sound so selfish.
This is a pic of us taken like two weeks ago.
a href="http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank"></a>
This is from a really long time ago like 6 months or more.
Anyways and on top of all of this I found out we are moving to Edmonton becasue housing prices where I live are too expensive and we are going to loose our house if we dont move soon. So yeah my life sucks baisically. Sorry this was like ridiculous long thanks if you acctually read all of it.

Answer

2006-07-18T01:09:39Z

Well I posted a few days ago asking which one I weighed more in

Here is the post
http://120-days.livejournal.com/9894.html

so in the first pic I was about 157 that was taken at night
and in the second pic I was 148 and that was taken at night so a ten pound diffrence. I am down to 154 blech cant believe I let myself gan ten pounds!

Pictures

2006-07-16T06:13:38Z

So here are two pics and I was wondering if you could tell me which I look heavier in and by how much. Sorry I dont have more pics and they are at diffrent angles.
And if anyone is wondering I am 5'7"

weight 1

Weight 2

Thank you
X-posted

120_days @ 2006-07-03T01:50:00

2006-07-03T08:50:26Z

I havent posted in awhile so I will update you all on how I am doing. I got down to a low of 148 I was so happy I said I would never be in the 150's again. And then I donno I gained some weight and went up to 154 I restricted got down to 150.5 then I got my period and went up to 154 from water weight but now I am 156 the highest I have been in a long time. But I am trying to be calm. For one thing I just weighed myself and it is night time I am on my period but I do have to admit that I have been eating like a pig. So I guess a more realistic weight is 153ish I think but that is still bad starting tomorrow I am goin to start restricting again. I have to finish this I have already lost 70 pounds I owe to myself get to my original goal of 130. Although I am thinking of lowering that to like 110 120. I donno I apparently I carry weight very well and already look like I am 130. But I feel so fat. I hate getting dressed in the morning I dont want to leave the house I just wish I could hide until all this gross fat was gone and the real me was here. I did just buy a shirt that was a small from The Gap and know I have a few shirts that are smalls. I have to get to my goal of 130 because I am going to a new school next year where no one will know that I used to weigh 220 lbs. and I can pretend like I have always been skinny. Here is a random question for anyone. Do you ever think like you want to be like really skinny so that people will know that you are sick and have a problem? Or is that just me and I am really messed up. It is just that I think that I do get to a sick weight than maybe people will notice and care about me. Like my sister is pretty rebelious and since she like rebelled and ran away my parents pay more attention to her so if I get to a sick weight than maybe they will pay attention to me to... I donno well I will update tomorrow about what I ate. Sorry this was so long

120_days @ 2006-06-23T22:22:00

2006-06-24T05:29:56Z

So today my mom and I were out to go pick up my brothers and we were sitting at the light and there was four girls crossing the street the light said walk and a motor bike came up and just like plowed them over. It was the most awful thing I have ever seen in my whole entire life. He knocked all four of them down and then he ran them over. Like he didn't do it on purpose and my mom and I got out the car and talked to him and the girls and the guy felt just awful. It is a mircale that thoose girls got up and walked away from that this is an article on the accident http://www.castanet.net/edition/news-story-19663--.htm#19663 the girl in the picture she got hurt the worst but she was the calmest and the girl that was hurt the leasy was hystaricle. No one was hurt seriously but the all hit there head. what the guy did on the motorbike could of happened to anyone my mom drives a motorbike and she said she has almost done the same thing. And everyone was so mad at him but really it could of happened to anyone and I feel really bad for him. That was a really big eye opener because all thoose girls were my age and they were just on their way to the beach and they were almost killed. Like honestly they should of been that is how bad it was there was just arms and legs every it was awful. well anyways hope you are all well.

120_days @ 2006-06-18T22:33:00

2006-06-19T06:06:35Z

I liked the way I looked in these pictures so I will show you them (the after pictures NOT the before) there are some before and after pics some of you may have seen the before becuase I dont have many but I did find one new one. I have lost a total of about 70 pounds these pictures I dont think they are at my highest of 220 I think these are like 210ish. In the after pictures I am about 148 and it is a night before I went to bed.

Before (fat cow)

After (little less of a fat cow)
Face this is what I look like first thing in the morining no make up or anything

I like my arm here it looks almost thin...

Hipbones with my disgusting loose skin and stretch marks

Collar bones <3

Tell me what you think feed back comments critism it is all welcomed and appreciated. X-POSTED

120_days @ 2006-06-07T20:42:00

2006-06-08T03:42:28Z

I am so mad! My dad just told me I have bad marks. I work really hard at school and I try really hard and I was acctually having a really good day because I brought my french mark up from a 72 to an 80 and we had awards and I got honor roll and work ethic. Even though I always get honor roll and work ethic I was kind of happy and proud of myself. But apparently that isnt good enough. I dont even have marks that are that bad. I have like an 83 average. Thats not bad is it? I have been feeling so bad lately to because I struggle with Math alot and I am trying really hard with Math but I still only have a 71 which is a C+ but I am going to sylvan and I am trying really hard. Over the summer I am spending 6 hours a week there. Three hours twice a week. And then he has to go and tell me that my marks are bad. It is like everything good that happened is striped away by what he said.

120_days @ 2006-05-15T07:40:00

2006-05-15T14:42:51Z

150.5 this morning! by the time I get back I want to be in the 140's that is doable I better be acctually. Yesterday I had 400 cals and the friday I didnt eat same with saturday but as I am typin the computer screen is moving...

Take care think thin and be thin!

120_days @ 2006-04-28T18:58:00

2006-04-29T01:58:44Z

Pretty much everything I am emphasise on the stupid part.

X-POSTED

120_days @ 2006-04-25T22:01:00

2006-04-26T05:04:10Z

This is how I have been feeling for like two weeks I gained 3 pounds but I swear it looks like 20! This morning it took me like half an hour to get dressed because everytime I would look in the mirror I would want to cry. I didn't even want to leave the house. I feel sorry for the people that have to look at me all day... Uh I have to get back on track dumb easter totally screwed up everything!

120_days @ 2006-04-15T10:22:00

2006-04-15T17:22:04Z

My cousin is still missing for three days now. All of her little dumb friends know exactly where she is and no one will tell where she is. God it is frusturating I am worried sick! And even if they do tell where she is. The police cant do anything because in Canada the leagal age of consent is 14. So now she can go with a guy and the police cant do anything about it! Uhh I am so frusturated with this. I have no idea where she is. I had no idea she was going to leave and I never even got to say goodbye. I was going to talk to her on MSN but I didnt becuase I was on the phone with someone and that was like the day before she left. Maybe I could of stoped her. Maybe I could convinced her not to go. I feel so helpless and I hate this! And normally when I get stressed I dont eat but I cant do that this weekend cause my gradpas here and he already thinks I am like anorexic so I can uhh I hope she comes home soon. And nobody really even cares and nobody will talk to me really this sucks! My best friend is missing and I cant even do anything about it!

Stressed out

2006-04-14T07:33:25Z

So I am pretty much like the most stressed I have ever been in my whole entire life. Today when I got home from school my mom asked me if I knew where my cousin is who is also my bestfriend. And I was like no why... and my mom said that she ran away. The school phoned her mom this morning and asked why Alyssa hadnt come to school and as far as her mom knew she did come to school so her mom phoned the house and noone answered and so she went home and all of her cloothes were gone and her room was pretty much cleared out. And I dont know where she could of gone at all but her ex boyfriend knows where she might be and wont tell me! And I am getting so stressed out. She is only 15 and just barley the same age as me and I have no idea where she is. And to top of this great day today at school we got shoots it didnt hurt until after because now my arm is really sore. And I had a three and a half hour piano lesson as soon as I got home so my arms kill I got one in booth arms. I hate shoot! but my friend passed out in the bathroom. After her shoot she was still freaking out and stuff so I took her into the bathroom and she started like hyperventylating and then she just kind of passed out and I just barley caught her. And I was like ok lets go sit on the toilet and she was like but my pants are still on. It was kind of funny but she was really worked up about two little needles. Anyways thats all for now. Talk to you girls later. hope everyone has a good easter weekend.

Complaints

2006-04-11T04:59:31Z

Uh I HATE physics I dont understand even the slightest. I am so bad at math and physics is hard! And no one in my house will help me! I asked my sister to help and I quote fine but you have to stop being such a bitch and I wanna borrow your make up and your pants tomorrow. And I was like cant you just help me. And she was like nope even I could do grade nine physics figure it out yourself. Have fun failing. God I HATE her right now she is being so mean. And my dad is watching like the one show a week that he watches so I cant ask him cause he wont really help and well my mom doesnt rember how to do physics. Uh it is already a day over due. And I only have an 86 in science and if I dont hand this in it is going to go down. I cant help it if I am dumb and dont understand physics. GRR! Everyone is being so mean to me today! Today at school my "friends" decided that they would ignore me and be mean to me today just because they felt like it. And when I went to register at my new school that I really want to go to because of the band program and I need it if I ever want to get in to a good university to take music. One of the securateries was like hmm well I dont know if she will get in because she doesnt live in the district and she is at the bottom of the waiting. We'll let you know the last week of Agust. How am I supposed to wait till the last week of Agust! I have to unenroll from my current school because it is a private school and cost money and my parents want a refund but then if I dont get into the new school where am I supposed to go? Uh I am just so stressed out I wish I could like put life on hold for like a week and just like sleep and take a break. I am really not that bad of a student I have like a 3.6 which is a B average(letter grade) But if you average out all of my percents it is like a 89 or 90. But math is just NOT my strong subject we had a test today and I only got 13 out of 19 which is only 65% and my LITTLE brother was like whats wrong with you that is so easy even I could do it. Which I know he couldnt he just likes to brag and stuff I should of given him a question to shut him up. Anyways if you read all of this you are my hero! On the brightside I stuck to my diet today probably cause I was so stressed out if I am stressed I eat really healthy it is weird. Anyways hope you are all doing better than me I guess I should go do my physics homework instead of complaining about it... and then it is of to bed

120_days @ 2006-04-10T18:01:00

2006-04-11T01:20:18Z

Yay! I am finnaly not considered to be overweight! I grew like and inch and a half and my weight stayed the same so I am now 5'7" and 155 giving me the BMI of 24.3! Not that much under overweight but I will take it! So today has been good so far. I have stuck to LA weight loss and I am just trying to get back on track after like three weeks of not dieting. So it will be hard but I have to do it sooner or later I am happier when I am dieting anyways because I am loosing weight. I have been like hating my self for the past three weeks cause I couldnt stick to my diet I would do good and then come home and eat something bad and then hate myself. I was on the internet and I think I might have something called orthorexia nervosa. Here is a website if you have never heard of it before.

http://www.pamf.org/teen/life/bodyimage/orthorexia.html

It is better than what I was doing before obsessing with not eating but now I am obsessing about eating healthy and I have like all the symtons except I dont spend an three hours thinking about my food. I get the feeling from eating healthy and being in controll that I did from when I was anorexic or had symptons of anorexia. Except it is almost better because you do get the virtue that you are almost better because you are doing it healthy. God I am messed up I sound like such and idiot. Anyways ladies take care and think thin we CAN and WILL get to all of our goals!

X-POSTED

120_days @ 2006-04-08T22:52:00

2006-04-09T05:52:57Z

So I have the ultimate motivation to loose weight. I just found out that I am going to be switching schools next year and I have to be 130 by september. Maybe lower but I really hope I can be happy with 130. So that means I have to get serious and get this weight of nobody is going to want to be friends with me if I am fat. and if is only 25 pounds and I have like 4 and a half months to loose it. I can defenitly do that and if I cant then I am a complete faliure. The first 60 pounds came of so easy and now I acctually have to work. But that is ok starting tomorrow I am getting serious I can loose two pounds a week on LA weightloss that is what they guarentee so that means in about three months I should be 130 thats like just when school gets out. I can do this I will do this I have to do this.

120_days @ 2006-04-07T18:14:00

2006-04-08T01:14:27Z

Hi everyone. I have been doing so bad lately. I am so ashamed of what I have been eating lately. I have gained like two or three pounds and I feel so gross and fat. It's so weird I was thinking yesterday when I was at my heaviest (220) I used to stand infornt of the mirror and say to myself I am not that big really I am not that fat. But know I stand infront of the mirror 65 pounds ligter and tell myself why are you so fat. You are not skinny you are fat and just basically beat myself up infront of the mirror. I have been so stressed lately because I have a debate coming up and I just gained like three pounds and I have lots of homework. Also my parents are making me so mad. I want to switch schools next year not because I dont like my school but because it doesnt offer me what I need. Because I want to go to university and take music but my school barley even has a music program. Like this year there was only 12 people in our band we had class two or three times a week with 80 miniuet classes. Next year all they will have is a 90 miniuets a week and it is outside of school. So yeah I wanna go to mcgill university and if I dont have any experience playing in a band I will never get in and I feel like my parents dont even care. Anyways sorry for such a long post.

120_days @ 2006-04-05T11:21:00

2006-04-05T18:26:58Z

April 5, 2006 Compulsory Voting- Negative Rebecca Mitra

Is compulsory voting fair? No it isn’t. It’s undemocratic and unfair to voters. The definition of democracy is when the common people, are considered the primary source of political power. Every one has a voice and vote, but they should have a choice if they want to use that voice or vote. How can you call a society with compulsory voting a democracy? If the government is forcing you to vote you can’t call it a democracy because it is a forced vote. One of the most important things of democracy is the freedom of speech and the right to vote. If you have compulsory voting then you do not get an accurate outcome because uneducated people are voting. It is not fair to the people that are politically savvy to have uneducated people vote. To have compulsory voting is unfair because it violates people’s rights. You could be forcing people to elect someone that goes against there beliefs. For example if someone is against abortion or gay marriages and they don’t want to vote for someone that is for abortion or gay marriages.

Question.

2006-04-02T03:28:22Z

I was wondering for anyone who knows if you could tell me how to post pics on here I can't figure it out and it's driving me crazy! lol. Anyways if you know how I would really apprecitate if you could tell me. Thanks

withthis

2006-03-31T06:49:17Z

Yeah this a pretty sweet community plus I have to promote it to get in lol.

120_days @ 2006-02-07T23:32:00

2006-02-08T07:51:04Z

120_days @ 2006-01-01T16:16:00

2006-01-02T00:20:18Z

120_days @ 2006-01-01T16:12:00

2006-01-02T00:15:57Z

(replace all brackets = ] with arrows = >):http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a33/longing_perfection/lwf3.jpg

[img src="linktoimage"]

(replace all brackets = ] with arrows = >)http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a33/longing_perfection/IMG_0054.jpg

[img src="linktoimage"]

120_days @ 2005-12-31T22:44:00

2006-01-01T06:44:46Z

Challange

2005-11-28T05:24:06Z

Dec 1- 700 calories.
Dec 2- 700 calories.
Dec 3- 250 calories.
Dec 4- 200 calories.
Dec 5- 700 calories.
Dec 6- 700 calories.
Dec 7- 700 calories.
Dec 8- 200 calories.
Dec 9- 200 calories.
Dec 10- 700 calories.
Dec 11- 250 calories.
Dec 12- 200 calories.
Dec 13- 700 calories.
Dec 14- 700 calories.
Dec 15- 700 calories.
Dec 16- 700 calories.
Dec 17- 200 calories.
Dec 18- 200 calories.
Dec 19- 250 calories.
Dec 20- 700 calories.
Dec 21- 200 calories.

Oh man parents suck

2005-09-03T06:02:39Z

Man I thought I had my parents support about my fast. But apperantly not. They made me stop because they want me to wait till school starts so they can do it with me uh what ever